Stand Tall

There are two major life lessons I've learned in grad school: Write with conviction and stand tall.

If you are a 20-something year old Indian girl, chances are you are married, engaged, in-a-committed relationship or on the search for "the one" with an online dating profile. Clearly, you just cannot move on in your life until you've found your better half.  Let's face it, without a man next to you, you’re pretty insignificant.

Oh, you just got your doctorate? Well, that's nice, but it ain't a diamond ring. You just went to Ireland?  Was it for your honeymoon? No? Well, it couldn't have been that exciting then. You just bought yourself a convertible?  Is it nicer than the Porsche my hubby got me last Christmas?  That's okay, someday, you too will find love.

I have an online dating profile. No, I'm not ashamed to admit that, because it's both an entertaining and a learning experience. And because I don't take myself (or anyone else for that matter) seriously, it's an intriguing experience. It's a rocky ride through cheesy pick-up lines and a myriad of 2-week text relationships. At some point, I intend on writing a book titled, Creepazoid Chronicles.

Normally, I don't attempt to acquaint myself with someone based on just their looks and profession. There is also the personality factor: comfort level, sense of humor, worldly knowledge, etc. However, in the digital dating world, this is secondary. First judgment call is made on a rather shallow basis. This has allowed me to peek into the lives of people that I do not understand and quite frankly, people who disgust me.

Last weekend, I received an email (Note, initial interest was sent by them):

"Thank you for accepting our interest.  However, after further evaluation, we believe you would be unsuitable for our son. As you are pursuing a PhD, you will be quite career focused. But we are looking for someone who would instead support our son in his career since he is a doctor."

I hope this email angers you.  But then pause for a moment and laugh with me at the absurdity of this note.  I was just rejected from the position of wife-of-doctor for being too ambitious. When I shared this with my mom, she rolled her eyes and said, “Maybe I did raise you with too much freedom."

But did she?  She raised me to be passionate. She raised me to be independent (that's right, I don't exactly NEED a man unless I'm attending some Indian event). She allowed me to pursue my dreams. She encouraged me to travel and read and experience the world; Not just the picture painted by our "community", but the real world without stereotypes and self-imposed limitations. She raised me to believe that I can change the world.

So, I start now.  I write with conviction.  I stand tall!

(Mom, clearly I've met the love of my life!)