Crush function

Disclaimer: Because my crushes generally follow a similar trend, this is both an open letter and an apology to all the amazing crushes I have disappointed. I am sorry I stalked you through high-school only to fall for your best friend. I am sorry I made you drive to Greek town at 2am for chilli cheese fries! I am sorry I made you dance on bar tables and then ditched you for someone else. I am sorry I laughed at you when your car fell into a ditch next to my apt. I am sorry that I threw your keys into the ditch a few months later. I am sorry I stopped responding to your messages even though we had a pretty good date. I am sorry I dragged you to a horrendous local band concert. I am sorry I gave you nicknames and snickered around with my friends. I am sorry I made fun of your hair.

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Dear crush, you are a sinc function.

I use this analogy mainly because I assume you will not understand it (unless you google it). Nor will anyone else who lives a life of sanity. If you do understand though, please share that with me so my attraction towards you can increase exponentially.

You seem to alternate between realms. Not in a multiple personalities sort of way, but more like melting ice-cream. You are in two states, simultaneously. This is precisely why you emulate this extraordinary function.

The normalized sinc function (time-domain) is the fourier transform of an ideal-low pass filter (LPF) (frequency domain). Your emotional attachment is like the LPF. Only casual emotions (the friendly wave, the random bumping into each other and the small talk) are allowed to filter through. The more intense emotions (I just had a fight with my mother and I need you to hug me) are cut-off. However, the definition of our relationship is like the sinc: relatively indefinite and with ringing side-effects. The narrower you set your cut-offs with the emotions, the wider the indefinition of our relationship becomes.

I wish you could choose a side and commit to it. If you choose to adhere to the time-domain, then be vague and ambiguous about everything. At least then I can label you as a flake and move on. However, if you choose to venture over to the frequency domain, then define everything-your emotions, our interactions, or the name of the dog we will never get.

I wish I could choose a side. The truth is that I don't REALLY know you. But I know me, and I definitely am a sinc function. I linger in a sea of confusion. My emotional attention span is about 2 weeks long. I too have a LPF for emotions. It is a delta function. As a result, none of my emotions ever make it through. And most things in my life remain indefinite.

Best,
YP

Reciprocity Theorem

In electromagnetism, reciprocity states that if the current densities (sources) are exchanged, their respective fields can be switched too. In terms of electrostatics, if the voltage source in one branch of the circuit produces a current in the other, the same current will be produced in the first branch if the source is moved to the second. Reciprocity has applications in politics (Canadian free trade with the US) and photography as well. In simple English, source and destination are interchangeable.

This is a mighty, powerful theorem for it simplifies computation, eases understanding and supplements the modeling of many complex systems. But as usual, I wonder if this scientific concept can be translated into real life. Can we exchange sources and destinations without changing certain results?

When it comes to traveling, this is true. The distance from point a to point b is the same as the distance from point b to a. However, can we elevate this concept into something even less objective?

I just watched My sister's Keeper. I am not one to get sensitive during movies, but this one certainly captured my emotions. It's a story about a teenager, Kate, who suffers from cancer. Her younger sister, Anna, has been donating her marrow since birth. During an incredibly crucial moment, she refuses to allow her parents to make any more medical decisions on her behalf. When Kate was three, she was diagnosed with cancer. Since they could not find a marrow match for her, the parents had to conceive another child. This child was Anna. To me, this is a brilliant case of irony. There is ambiguity in who is the source and who is the destination. Is Anna the source since she has been donating her marrow to Kate her entire life? Or is Kate the source as her sickness is the very reason for Anna's existence? The truth is, no matter who the source is, the result is still that of sisterhood. Reciprocity exists.

It is difficult to justify reciprocal relationships in our subjective lives. However, we can analyze this concept for a single instant. At a particular time point and in a certain relationship, there must exist a source (someone who is giving) and a sink (someone who is receiving). At a later time point, the relationship may be reversed. One such example is that of parents and kids. Until a certain age, parents are the care-givers. However, at some point, it becomes the child's responsibility to care for the parents. I suppose reciprocity exists for romantic relationships in an oscillatory fashion.

However, today is a day to discuss the reciprocity between a prankster and his victim. If you are the prankster, make sure you devised an intelligent trick. If you are the victim, have a sense of humor and make sure you reverse your role next time ;). Either way, the result is to have fun.

Happy April Fool's Day!

ps: Add me on Draw something. It's the technological epitome of reciprocity. You can switch off between being the draw-er and the guess-er oh so frequently! ;)

Just a Taste

There is a cozy little tapas bar in the Ithaca Commons, "Just a taste!". It isn't my favorite tapas place(Cafe Iberico is!), but I loved going there for one main reason: samplers! Tapas in themselves imply taste portions of incredible delicacies, but this little place also offered flights of wine in taste portions. It was an invitation to indulge in everything you desire, but in moderation. Say you got that crispy cauliflower in yogurt sauce and realized you didn't quite like it, that's okay, because the portion was just large enough to grab a taste of, but not so much so that you had to finish it even if you felt sick.

In some ways this is how I feel about boys. I think I'm excited to taste but afraid to order the whole entree. In a recent conversation with myself (because I do that sometimes to rationalize things), I had an epiphany. My longest relationship has been with Biomedical Engineering (BME). It's been seven years and going strong. And that too is because you can taste several engineerings in one bite of BME. Now, I know what most of you are thinking. Am I really going to compare real life with food? So for you, even though it's a completely valid comparison, I'll add some science to this. With the food example it may sound like this desire to taste is just a want, but with science, perhaps I can prove that it is actually a need.

Last week I was exposed to many many brilliant minds in the beautiful city of Washington, DC. Now now, hold on to your chairs, because I don't mean the politicians. I am actually talking about the great neuroscientists who unfold the mysteries of our brains. Dora Angelaki is one such scientist. She gave a talk on the importance of sensory integration. In her introduction, she explained that the significance for sensory integration lies in its ability to reduce noise and to avoid ambiguities. Her example was about the pilot who is accelerating through the clouds and is unable to tell the difference between flying upwards and plummeting downwards because his vestibular input can't separate the tilt and the translation. Without his visual feedback, the input signal is both noisy and ambiguous. By the time his head is out of the clouds (no pun intended), it's too late to correct this mistake and the plane crashes.

Perhaps my fear to commit is not irrational. Maybe when I meet my chocolate covered strawberry I'll know. Maybe all my senses with be in sync and I'll be able to make that weird promise called "love". But that time isn't now. I'm still juggling two-week crushes and quirky dates. I'm still enjoying getting hit on during Saturday night extravaganzas. I'm still loving to taste without the after taste.

Plus, I truly believe what the Blakes have sung!

Well there's so much that I want to do
I haven't done without someone
Hanging on my side