Stand Tall

There are two major life lessons I've learned in grad school: Write with conviction and stand tall.

If you are a 20-something year old Indian girl, chances are you are married, engaged, in-a-committed relationship or on the search for "the one" with an online dating profile. Clearly, you just cannot move on in your life until you've found your better half.  Let's face it, without a man next to you, you’re pretty insignificant.

Oh, you just got your doctorate? Well, that's nice, but it ain't a diamond ring. You just went to Ireland?  Was it for your honeymoon? No? Well, it couldn't have been that exciting then. You just bought yourself a convertible?  Is it nicer than the Porsche my hubby got me last Christmas?  That's okay, someday, you too will find love.

I have an online dating profile. No, I'm not ashamed to admit that, because it's both an entertaining and a learning experience. And because I don't take myself (or anyone else for that matter) seriously, it's an intriguing experience. It's a rocky ride through cheesy pick-up lines and a myriad of 2-week text relationships. At some point, I intend on writing a book titled, Creepazoid Chronicles.

Normally, I don't attempt to acquaint myself with someone based on just their looks and profession. There is also the personality factor: comfort level, sense of humor, worldly knowledge, etc. However, in the digital dating world, this is secondary. First judgment call is made on a rather shallow basis. This has allowed me to peek into the lives of people that I do not understand and quite frankly, people who disgust me.

Last weekend, I received an email (Note, initial interest was sent by them):

"Thank you for accepting our interest.  However, after further evaluation, we believe you would be unsuitable for our son. As you are pursuing a PhD, you will be quite career focused. But we are looking for someone who would instead support our son in his career since he is a doctor."

I hope this email angers you.  But then pause for a moment and laugh with me at the absurdity of this note.  I was just rejected from the position of wife-of-doctor for being too ambitious. When I shared this with my mom, she rolled her eyes and said, “Maybe I did raise you with too much freedom."

But did she?  She raised me to be passionate. She raised me to be independent (that's right, I don't exactly NEED a man unless I'm attending some Indian event). She allowed me to pursue my dreams. She encouraged me to travel and read and experience the world; Not just the picture painted by our "community", but the real world without stereotypes and self-imposed limitations. She raised me to believe that I can change the world.

So, I start now.  I write with conviction.  I stand tall!

(Mom, clearly I've met the love of my life!)

Acrimonious Apathy

"I am not scared, I am not shocked, I don’t feel anything." It's two days after the Mumbai blasts, but the city runs. Drenched in pouring rain and the stench of bloodshed, Mumbai is moving on. Twenty-one people lost their lives. Hundreds lost a limb or a toe. Thousands were traumatized. And millions across the world watched in silent wonderment as Mumbai once again took a toll at the hands of terrorists. It's happened before and it will surely happen again. So, we can just sit around at this narrow stall and enjoy some fresh jalebis.

The common man in India is a miracle. He lives through life, working and laughing, waiting in hope for a better life. He nurtures his dreams through his children-- first, he teaches them lessons of ideals and principles and soon, he exchanges those morals and trains them to speak white lies and commit minor felonies to climb the ladder of the corporate world. And so the child of this common man, like all his peers, unwillingly yet consciously, falls in the face of corruption. This is my land. The land of the free, brave and corrupt.

During a recent visit to India, I engaged in a discussion with my cousin about the way corruption was embedded in every vein of every being who was local to the one country that teaches tales of honesty and perseverance through examples of freedom fighters and mythological heroes. As a child, my mother narrated the story of Valyo lootaro to me every night. The bandit of the jungles reformed himself and became Rishi Valmiki, the great sage who wrote the epic of Ramayan. Today, we lead our lives in reverse. A Valmiki gets lost and trampled in his attempt to embrace honesty while the Valyo soars above with fake certificates and ridiculous bribes. So I asked my cousin, where does it start? Can there be a way to cleanse our people from this vicious virus? And his answer yet again was that it starts with the common man. It takes one man to refuse a bribe. One man to ignore a donation. And just one man to lead a country.

But I disagree. I refuse to admit that the power is bestowed upon a single man. In fact, the power lies in the hands of corporate India. India is one of the most rapidly growing economies in the world. It's middle class is made up of young, educated and liberal minds. The youth is creeping into corporations as engineers, managing directors and CEOs of start-ups. And it's upon this population that the responsibility lies. Our political class is made up of old hags who have been stuck in a blame game since 1947. But we are smarter than that. And perhaps now is the time to say no. The youth in India has already rebelled against many outdated religious traditions and stigmas. It's now time to rebel against those corporate traditions. If you get pulled over for no mistake of your own, refuse to pay the bribe. If you are denied admission because your father can't afford the donation, say good-bye to the greedy dean and pack your bags for a future abroad. But don't do it alone. Bring a friend.

In an effort to cleanse the corruption internally, we will finally recognize the external enemies. A good friend once said, "The key to a strong democracy is to have a common language, a common religion and a common enemy." While it was a wise statement, I'd like to believe that the key to a good country, democracy or not, is to adopt a common principle (of honesty). This bloodshed was a calling that something is wrong. In this country of apathetics, the youth must rise with passion to overturn the corrupt. Because until we defeat the snakes that are hiding under the cloaks of evil politicians and crooked business tycoons, our battle against the terrorists will remain superficial. Once that is done, it'll be easy to kill the bastards who had the nerve to repeatedly attack our most precious city. Mumbai won't take it anymore. India won't be quiet. "I am not scared. I am not shocked. Because, I am empowered!"

References:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/India-Inc-must-clean-up-its-act-to-rid-country-of-graft/articleshow/9277245.cms
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/jul/13/mumbai-bomb-blasts-india
http://tehelka.com/story_main50.asp?filename=Ws160711Mumbai.asp