My tryst with Milwaukee: A cheesy love affair!

Dear Chicago,

I have been cheating on you. It started unexpectedly with a one-night stand. But then, it kept calling me and I was drawn by its quaint charm. It doesn't mean I love you any less, but I am slowly falling for this city, Milwaukee.

I was in denial for a while. Especially because Milwaukee is unlike any other place I have called home. It's not a big city like you or a jungle like Ithaca. It's not all hustle-bustle like NYC or chic and political like DC. And yet, I have found unusual comfort here.

I visited you last weekend. I thought I was home. And I was. But a little part of me longed for the quiet of my lab and my annoyingly slow internet. I wondered what junk food dinner entree I was trading in for this lovely deep-dish. While the whole experience was exactly what I needed to exhilarate myself, it felt less than homely. I felt an unrelenting pull towards Milwaukee.

Perhaps it is the familiar lake front. Or the frozen custard at Leon's and cheap (yet amazing) beer at Hollander. Maybe it is the lack of traffic on I-94 and the ridiculously low sales tax. Or it could be the scenic drive next to Miller Park. Possibly, it is the creepy Russians at New Yorker. Or my recent obsession with home-brewing. But most of all, I am intrigued by the unpredictability of this state I once stereotyped. Did you know rednecks existed in the North? (Apparently, they live in the nooks of northern Wisconsin.) Or that the Walgreens I shop at is the oldest in the world?

I didn't realize how far this fling had come along. I was referred to as the "official Milwaukee google" by a friend yesterday. I don't think I'm google-worthy yet. However, this relationship definitely escalated beyond my expectations. My summer plans include Summerfest, Jazzfest and trips to Door county and Devil's lake. I convinced my buddy to have a meal of cheese curds and spotted cow. I bought an $11 block of chocolate fudge cheese just because I wanted to.

A few months ago, I wrote about some of the most influential songs in my life (Musical Reality). I credited Milwaukee for Home by Philip Phillips. I am intimate with the unfamiliar road. I hate this city usually. But sometimes I have bouts of love. It is rather unceremonious. But isn't that the epitome of a relationship after all?

Chicago, I am not breaking up with you. But let's just say we're on a break. You are my soulmate, yes. But Milwaukee is the hot guy that I want to seduce right now.

Love,
YP

I do

"I can't believe they're dating. Well, I'm really happy for them," I ended the conversation and turned off the landline as my mother walked into my room. She sat on my bed and stared at me as I continued working on my Physics problem set. "Who started dating?" she asked. "Oh, just two of my friends. I played soccer with them," I replied nonchalantly without even looking up. "You played soccer with both of them? They're both girls?" my mother gasped. "Yeah, so?" I asked rhetorically.

It was a rhetorical question ten years ago and it is rhetorical even now. Thankfully, my mother's views evolved. However, it seems that corners of our society have remained resolute in their ignorance. I must say that I am appalled by the incredible support of Proposition 8 and DOMA. I believe that everyone's opinions are respectable. However, I also recognize that the innate nature of rights makes them universal. They should not be voted upon just because some people cannot comprehend the happiness of others. 

But let's play their game for now and allow them to present their arguments logically. Every point is eventually backed up by science or by religion. I am ready to fight them on both of those counts. And unlike Paul Clement, I'll try not to circumvent what was laid out in 1996.

Let's tackle science first. One major argument from the supporters has been that it is "unnatural" since sex between two individuals of the same gender is not a tool for procreation. However, science argues that sex (gay or straight) has other advantages. According to zoologists, over 1500 mammalian species engage in homosexual behavior. In some species, sex is used to resolve violent conflicts. Imagine that! It's like the entire animal kingdom is still enjoying the freedom of the sixties era and yet we have chosen to regress and deem this behavior bizarre. 

Next up, religion. Yes, this began as a moral argument. 

“It is inherently wrong and harmful individual’s families and societies,” former Rep. David Funderburk 

“An attack on God’s principles,” former Rep. Steve Buyer

“The flames of self-centered morality are licking at the very foundations of our society—the family unit,” former Rep. Bob Barr

It is apparent that the supporters of DOMA are mainly using the religious shield. So I quote, "Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God."- Corinthians 4:5, King James Bible. 

I think it is pretty clearly stated in here to NOT judge as this is an action reserved for God. So really, even from a religious point of view, bigotry is untolerated. Religion is for the people; People are NOT for the religion. Let the thoughts of religion make you more compassionate and loving instead of hateful and dogmatic. 

My two friends from high-school are now engaged to each other. While many relationships fizzled away when factors like long-distance were introduced, theirs passed the test of time and stood strong. That is true love.

samo 'ham sarva-bhutesu 

na me dvesyo 'sti na priyah 

ye bhajanti tu mam bhaktya 

mayi te tesu capy aham

I am the same to all creatures; I know not hatred nor favor; but those who serve me with love dwell in me and I in them. (Bhagvad Gita, Ch. 9, verse 32)

Montreal Diaries

Day 1: Sunday, Feb 17th

I never thought I would chronicle my Montreal adventures. Visiting a new city has become routine for me and usually the pictures speak for themselves. However, being in Montreal is like being in a foreign country. Oh wait, it is a foreign country. While I've considered Canada to be an extension of the United States with people that use the metric system and pronounce their z's as zed, Montreal has been evidence of how different this country really is. Also, my hands would rather stay in the warmth of my mittens than take photos of this picturesque city. It's really cold. The temperatures aren't unfamiliar for a Chicagoan, but something about the air makes the cold wind pierce through your skin like tiny daggers.

Now that I've established my rationale, (Damn PhD, what are you doing to me?) I can report the happenings of my first day here. I landed in Montreal around 3:30 pm local time. Immediately, I was greeted  by this amusing fixture (see below) in the ladies washroom at the airport.

Next, I tried to decipher the broken English+French directions to take the 747 express to my B&B. The lady said it was a 10-minute walk. She couldn't be more wrong. With my backpack+laptop+carry-on, it took me about 25 minutes uphill to get to my temporary abode. All my anger for the inaccurate airport lady and the numerous rude strangers who refused to give me directions vanished when I saw the cozy little place I am staying at. Yes folks, it is a castle. And my room has a balcony. If I still had long hair, I'd totally play Rapunzel.

I dropped off my stuff and changed out of my travel clothes for a quick walk around the neighborhood. I must admit, the McGill campus is beautiful. When I returned, I got some more information from the concierge on nearby attractions and Montreal must-sees. Apparently, public transit is a fairly convenient way to explore the city. I boarded the 24 to meet up with a friend for dinner at 3 amigos on St. Catherine. The bus driver, Fablese, spoke only French. However, he was extremely helpful and patiently waited as I sabotaged the street names to describe exactly where I wanted to go. Lucky for me, while returning later in the night, he was making his rounds back!

At 3 amigos, there was a huge line. When our food and drinks came, we knew exactly why. The strawberry-mango margarita was amazing (and ginormous). After an hour of binge eating and gossiping, we called it a night.

Thus ended Day 1. But the adventures are just beginning. Stay tuned for Day 2...

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Musical Reality (English)

M: I'm gonna rock your world with 70s rock :P
Y: That's what's gonna rock my world? damn.. how well you know me!

The truth is, tunes from the 70s may not rock my world, but music really does. And yes, the above conversation is a lame attempt at humor (which was completely ignored by my friend), but this post is about some of the songs I associate with incredible memories. It's common to listen to a song and feel a sense of nostalgia come over you. Hence the following tribute (in no particular order). 

1. She Will be loved, Maroon 5 (2004)
This is my all-time favorite song. I turn into an 18-year old, the moment Adam Levine starts serenading me.

Coincidentally, it's the song that came into my life shortly before I turned 18. I was listening to this song (and going over O-chem reactions for a lab practical) when I got into my first car accident on Kennedy Expressway. I remember pulling over and exchanging insurance information with the middle-aged driver of the barely scratched SUV. This was my initiation into the adult world.

A few months later, Mary and I embarked on the Sophomore leadership retreat at Lake Geneva. While that trip is reminiscent of many epiphanies under the starlit campfire, this song was a testament to my self-confidence. Mary volunteered me for a solo while playing a game of personality bingo (i.e: Who is wearing a red shirt, Who has ever sung a solo, etc)  After initial hesitation, I sang the chorus of this beautiful song to an audience of several hundred people. And I don't wish to brag, but I was awesome! (Thanks for the voice lessons, mom!)


2. Oops I did it again, Brittney Spears (2000)
Eighth grade dance. First kiss. 'nuff said!


3. Leaving on a Jet Plane, John Denver (1969)
Just days after making the trans-Atlantic move from Dubai to Toronto, my family decided it was only sensible to spend the upcoming festivals in Chicago. So we drove across the Niagara Falls and trekked halfway through 'merica. Who knew this great city would become our new home? Of course, as my cousin's favorite song, this played endlessly during the wee hours of the night. Thus, it has left a solid imprint on my brain.

4. Swing Life away, Rise Against (2005)
I credit this song to Maulin. Thank you for aim-ing every worthy (and unworthy) song my way. Of course, in the plethora of music sent over, there were a few gems. This is one of those. It reminds me of the summer of 2005. It insinuates the memory of endless hours spent hunched over books, taking afternoon naps at your apt (and consequently pigging out on your food) and getting Lemon-ice with Alice on Taylor St before making the 4-mile hike to IIT. This was also the first song on my ipod-shuffle.

This song is also the epitome of my present life.

5. I want it that way, Backstreet Boys (1999)
My sister and I have always been close. However, a three year age gap means different things at different stages of life. When we moved to Chicago, I was an 11-year old child and my sister was a 14-year old teenager. In those dire times, BSB kept us connected. Of course, this bonding could have been animus if I too had been cray-cray for Nick. Shout out to my first love, AJ. Mclean.

6. Wish you were here, Pink Floyd (1975)
Sure, this is a classic. However, I did not obsess over this song until I read Five Point Someone in Dec. 2007. Pink Floyd is about recognizing vulnerabilities. I spent many nights in the next semester with glasses of Gewurztraminer and indulging in deep conversations. Yes, this song is about missing someone and every time I listen to it,  I do.

7. Tipsy, J-Kwon (2003)
"E'er body but Yag gettin' tipsy!" This became a tag line for my presence at extended family functions for several months after I sang along to J-Kwon during a car ride to a-place-i-can't-remember. This song reminds me of how awesome, yet crazy my family is. After that, I quickly digress into thoughts of cinnamon sticks and coke at Pizza Hut.

8. City of Blinding lights, U2 (2005)
My first real visit to NYC was in March 2007. It was Spring Break during my senior year at IIT. I was so in love with the city, that I vowed to myself that I would move to NY within the next 6 months. Luckily, I got to partition my time between Ithaca and NYC when I moved to Cornell later that year. The Brooklyn bridge is by far the most glorious platform I've walked on. In one of the U2 concerts, the intro to this song is a description of Manhattan as seen from the bridge. That is the only version I listen to. I am reminded of everything NYC has to offer and of promises that I make to myself and keep.
(Trivia: this is also Obama's intro song)

9. Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson (2005)
Lazy Sunday afternoons.

Especially because I had a rule about only waking up in single digits (i.e before 10am). This rule is no longer being enforced in my life.

10. Santa Baby, Kylie Minogue (2007)
I vividly remember working on my Neural Interfaces paper while lying in my bed at the apt. on Danby. Puifai sent this song to me as a much needed distraction. This is a Christmas favorite! I love the holiday season and this song for reminding me that naughty can also be nice!

11. Her Morning Elegance, Oren Lavie (2009)
This is my blog's namesake. The stop-motion video is a parallel to what my life had become when I was introduced to this song. I was blinded to the mundane and routine struggles I was facing to achieve something I did not care for. This was a turning point as I abandoned a false dream I had fostered for years only to pursue the road less traveled. Thanks Frost. It has made all the difference.

12. Wait for sleep, Dream Theatre (1992)
What's the story morning glory? This song is implicative of everything that was freshmen year at IIT: daily commutes on the el, getting my driver's license, getting lost in the city and calling friends for directions (because smartphones and GPS were yet to come), piggin' out on mango tofu with Shira, asking out long-time crushes, making friends, losing friends, and basically having the time of my life!

13. From Paris to Berlin, Infernal (2005)
Europe 2008. A two-week trip with my sister that turned into an incredible adventure. It involved Madame Tussaud's, tea with the queen (or her minions), picnic by the Eiffel, crepes and hot Frenchmen, half-bridges and emergencies in Avignon, getting lost in Barcelona, joining strangers for a tapas/flamenco party at Las Ramblas, trying our luck in Monaco, fancy cars, gelato, sun-bathing in Nice, hikes and chocolate tours in Switzerland, missed flights in Venice and a group of amazing friends!

14. Anyone else but you, Moldy Peaches (2001)
I remember watching Juno at the Westbourne in Ithaca. I was only semi-impressed with Ellen Page. However, this song and the entire soundtrack (All I want is you, Barry Louis Polisar) was more memorable. I have since sang this song at many karaoke nights in Ithaca, DC, Chicago, etc. It's just a simple song that reminds me of who I really am- a part-time lover and a full time friend!

15. I'm gonna make this place your home, Phillip Phillips (2012)
In the last five years, I have lived in 5 different cities (not counting Chicago). This spontaneous, vagabond lifestyle leaves me wondering whether I felt at home at any of these residences. Of course, nothing may ever compare to the awesomeness of Chicago, but I have to admit, these past two years in Milwaukee have been kind of fabulous. As a commuter (yes, I engaged in a 90-mile one-way commute for a whole semester), I fell in love with the scenic amtrak ride and gelato at the Public market. Once I moved here, I discovered Leon's, Cafe Hollander, Jazz in the Park and the Art Museum. This song is usually playing during my daily ride on 94 which only adds to the Milwaukee experience. The gorgeous view of Miller Park at the break of dawn is breath-taking. The roof reminds me of a bridge and although it may not be the Brooklyn magnificence, it's damn close.

But, I'll never be a Packers fan!



Honorable mentions:
Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond (1969)
Lean on me, Bill Withers (1972)
Wonderwall, Oasis (1995)
Crash into me, Dave Matthews Band (1996)
Iris, Goo goo dolls (1998)
Kiss me, Sixpence none the richer (1998)
Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's child (1999)
It wasn't me, Shaggy (2000)
Goodbye Earl, Dixie Chicks (2000)
Love you madly, Cake (2001)
Thousand Miles, Vanessa Carlton (2002)
Numb, Linkin Park (2003)
Boulevard of broken dreams, Greenday (2004)
Fix You, Coldplay (2005)
Rain is a good thing, Luke Bryan (2010)

ps: The hindi version is coming up soon! :)

Crush function

Disclaimer: Because my crushes generally follow a similar trend, this is both an open letter and an apology to all the amazing crushes I have disappointed. I am sorry I stalked you through high-school only to fall for your best friend. I am sorry I made you drive to Greek town at 2am for chilli cheese fries! I am sorry I made you dance on bar tables and then ditched you for someone else. I am sorry I laughed at you when your car fell into a ditch next to my apt. I am sorry that I threw your keys into the ditch a few months later. I am sorry I stopped responding to your messages even though we had a pretty good date. I am sorry I dragged you to a horrendous local band concert. I am sorry I gave you nicknames and snickered around with my friends. I am sorry I made fun of your hair.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear crush, you are a sinc function.

I use this analogy mainly because I assume you will not understand it (unless you google it). Nor will anyone else who lives a life of sanity. If you do understand though, please share that with me so my attraction towards you can increase exponentially.

You seem to alternate between realms. Not in a multiple personalities sort of way, but more like melting ice-cream. You are in two states, simultaneously. This is precisely why you emulate this extraordinary function.

The normalized sinc function (time-domain) is the fourier transform of an ideal-low pass filter (LPF) (frequency domain). Your emotional attachment is like the LPF. Only casual emotions (the friendly wave, the random bumping into each other and the small talk) are allowed to filter through. The more intense emotions (I just had a fight with my mother and I need you to hug me) are cut-off. However, the definition of our relationship is like the sinc: relatively indefinite and with ringing side-effects. The narrower you set your cut-offs with the emotions, the wider the indefinition of our relationship becomes.

I wish you could choose a side and commit to it. If you choose to adhere to the time-domain, then be vague and ambiguous about everything. At least then I can label you as a flake and move on. However, if you choose to venture over to the frequency domain, then define everything-your emotions, our interactions, or the name of the dog we will never get.

I wish I could choose a side. The truth is that I don't REALLY know you. But I know me, and I definitely am a sinc function. I linger in a sea of confusion. My emotional attention span is about 2 weeks long. I too have a LPF for emotions. It is a delta function. As a result, none of my emotions ever make it through. And most things in my life remain indefinite.

Best,
YP

Integral Infinity

Om 

Purnamadah Purnamidam

Purnat Purnamudachyate

Purnasya Purnamadaya

Purnameva Vashishyate

Om shanti shanti shanti! 

Om

That is infinite, this is infinite

From that infinite, this infinite comes.

From that infinite, this infinite removed or added,

Infinite remains infinite.

Om. Peace peace peace!

I start with this verse from Isha Upanishad, because it reads like a mathematical proof. When adding or subtracting from infinity, infinity remains infinite. I can't recall the first time I learned about the concept of infinity, but I can imagine how difficult it must have been to grasp its abstractness in context of something as defined as mathematics. In theory, if you add up every number from -∞ to +∞, you get 0. This is an unbounded sum, one which has an indefinite beginning and an indefinite end. And yet, its solution amounts to nothing. 

However, if you take this concept from the realm of mathematics and into that of philosophy, the equation changes. As is described in the verse above, the beginning and the end of time are on this spectrum between -∞ and +∞. Yet, this unbounded philosophical sum encompasses not just the existence of humanity, but that of our entire universe. It truly is, "through infinity and beyond!" And if you assume mathematics and philosophy to be on a continuum, then our universe should also amount to nothing.

 

So is it? Is the infinite breadth of our existence not even a mere speck? Or is this a more relative theory? Perhaps when compared with the truly infinite, as in God or Science or some other supreme force of nature, our being is truly miniscule. If this is true, then maybe it shouldn't matter what my legacy is. And assuming that my essence means something, is just a fancy way of expressing my vanity. 

On the flip side of infinite sum is infinite precision. Like the digits in pi. It is both irrational and necessary. Everything in this infinite universe may sum to nothing, but the details of this world are infinitely defined. This is why all constants are approximations. It is impossible to fathom these values, yet so easy to experience them. All of sudden, my existence which amounts to nothing in the infinite sum, is still infinitely defined. The forces that act upon me and the energy I release into this world is precisely defined. At a given moment, something happens because it was infinitely planned. The parameters of this infinite definition and this infinite precision are also infinite. 

I use this symbol of infinity to validate my existence every day. Sometimes, I stare at my infinity sign and use it to zap people's brains. Other times, I stare at it and wonder if this infinity sign can truly transform lives. But most of the time, it only serves as a reminder of the infinite knowledge I have yet to learn. And while this is overwhelming, for that moment I find a purpose for my miniscule self in the vastness of infinity.



Occasionally I also use infinity to define my indolence. My laziness is like the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite!

Thought Pangaea

In order to reboot the economy, we need to learn from the game of Monopoly. Everyone starts with the same amount of money and as the game goes on, people can use their wit and luck to progress.

You might think this thought crossed my mind while reading a finance article or a book on Economics (or while playing Monopoly). However, this thought really entered my unusual brain while I was analyzing the power in the beta-band of my subject's EEG data. Let me you walk through my intricate and strange thought process.

1. EEG Analysis
2. Thinking about a conversation that distracted me during lunch
3. History of how China got its name
4. How these distractions can postpone my graduation (Thanks Yan!)
5. If the recession persists, will I have to move to China?
6. What is the solution to this problem?
8. Monopoly!

This bizarre process, which only took about 100msec, led me to another question. What is the significance of of our brain's digression? Wouldn't we be more efficient if we could compartmentalize our thoughts? Our productivity would increase; our emotions would be less obstructive and overall, we would be much happier. Then why are we evolutionary programmed to think within this mess?

Despite of what the textbooks illustrate, there are no defined boundaries for brain regions. Every brain is unique. In addition, the brain is an organ of both complex anatomy and even more labyrinthine function. Each crevice has its individual purpose and yet it blends in with the whole. Unlike computers, we cannot choose which programs to shut down and which ones to run. They are all running simultaneously without regard to the RAM available. Even past events are saved comprehensively. A distinct smell or an unusual color are capable of provoking the most profound memories.

While this enables us to appreciate the potential of the human brain, isn't it in some ways throwing us off-course? Do I really need to think about summers in India and consequently, sweet mangoes, whenever it rains? Must I let my mind wander among the memories of an old friend at the whiff of AXE? Is there a purpose to thinking about Monopoly while analyzing EEG data?

I view this phenomenon as a Pangaea of thoughts: one in which there are no boundaries to where your mind can wander.  Once upon a time, our world also used to be boundary-free. I am not going to dwell on the influence of plate tectonics on the development of culture and society. However, I will comment on the significance of digression.

"Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun." Scialabba is right. If Steve jobs did not let his imagination take over, we would not have the treasure that is Pixar. If Salinger had not digressed, my favorite book wouldn't have been The Catcher in the Rye. Chocolate chip cookies are a result of Wakefield's creative cooking. And the implantable cardiac pacemaker is a product of a wrong sized resistor that was inserted in a recording device by Greatbatch. To his surprise, the circuit began pulsing, just like the human heart.

Our brain's ability to digress is a symbol of freedom and a sign of potential. So, the next time I space out in lab, I will consider it a blessing. Who knows, while indulged in signal processing, I could come up with a way to achieve world peace!